the far road

The break of day surrounds your thoughts.
Its warm smells and vibrant touch kiss your nose.
You are back in a vaguely familiar state of mind
and yet you are complacent.
Its a place that you've never been before,
but it feels more cozy than in your own skin.
It is hard to let yourself trust the feeling
but it is the ease that your heart has been yearning for. 

fix

i could never fathom that people were so terribly horrible.
the closest souls were actually miles apart from yours.
nothing in sight was real, just a delusion.
presuming to give the benefit of the doubt was just a weakness.
tragedy truly set its course to reign over thoughts and actions.
love once lost can never be replenished, this i have learned.
assumptions were proven correct, even the most bizarre.
the atomic disposition had made itself apparent.
it was like a bad taste in the mouth, but an addiction to its inhabitant.

you've become my drug. my aggressor. my language.
i binge on the thought of you. the thought of your essence.
i thrive on your malicious attainment. your foul play.
empty sweet words repeat in my head.
over and over again as a windmill relentlessly slows down.
constant.
a face i used to be so familiar with flashed before my eyelids while i park my car.
while i change the cat box.
all of which have become nightmares while i am wide awake.